My Responses to Spam — Literally

Posted March 27th, 2007 by Mike Cherim

Ever get one of those spam comments held in moderation that you’d love to respond to? I do. It’s tempting sometimes. Obviously approving the comment is something that simply isn’t advisable, even if you were to remove the links. Well, what I have decided to do is post some of those comments here followed by my responses, similar to Jack Pickard’s Spam Smörgåsbord. I have to warn you, though, some of their “names” are about really whacked stuff. Any way here’s a few:

Note: Most of these pretty typical spam comments included several links to various sites. Of course.

Hi guys,
I found so much useful things here.
Thank you. — lipitor muscle pain

Glad you found it useful, lippy. Sorry I wasn’t able to provide the grammatical guidance you so desperately need.

Hello! Excellent site, but most of messages here are not related to its contents… — asian anal sex gallery asian anal sex

Ah, that would be true, AASGAAS (for short), but since I don’t let people like you post here, your observation isn’t accurate. Man you have a long name… did you parents give you that?

Dis website is Great!
I will recommend you to all my friends.
Thank you. — young teen

If they’re spammers like you, young, please, don’t bother.

One isn’t necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. — naked asian babes

My dad used to tell me that, nake. Thanks.

Good aftenoon!
What beautiful text and visitors!
Like!
Thank you!
The Author, you - genius… — Hoperetob

Aw, shucks. I’m blushing, retob. Oh, good aftenoon to you too.

Greetings!
Undoubtedly, you will reach big success with your site. — anal teen

Gosh, I hope so. Curious, going by the name “anal teen,” does that mean you’re really a picky and persnickety teenager?

She says. But couldn’t. tribal tatoo designs tribal tatoo designs tribal tatoo designs I’m not so low on deaf ears. By the war with. Sex. She was plainly visible, exposing her shrieking in the pacific. tatoos for girls tatoos for girls tatoos for girls I told herself up. — lakgykwuf

Clearly, kwuf, I am at a loss for words.

Hi,
Very very nice site!
And please visit my forum — gay teen sex

Which one, gay?! You provided so many links that I really didn’t know which one to choose.

I feel like a complete blank.
That’s how it is.
I can’t be bothered with anything recently. — levitra online

Looks like you can unblank yourself long enough to spam me, eh, levi?

And last but certainly not least.

vqyld borgtal lbofr swdcq ljqtdwecx skuq slbnrgcdo — pjir sjqafuizy

Lol, too funny, fuizy. You always crack me up with your gibberish.

Filed under Wicked Wild Web, Beast Ramblings —

14 Responses to: “My Responses to Spam — Literally”

Bill responds:
Posted: March 27th, 2007 at 1:46 pm →

Is it appropriate to write a non-spam comment for a post about spam comments, or would that be violating some unwritten rule somewhere?

My favorites are the ones that ask you politely not to delete their spam.
Mike Cherim responds:
Posted: March 27th, 2007 at 1:59 pm →

Is it appropriate to write a non-spam comment for a post about spam comments, or would that be violating some unwritten rule somewhere?

Good question. I’ll say it is.

My favorites are the ones that ask you politely not to delete their spam.

Yeah, they can be polite can’t they. Makes me think of gentleman bank robbers. “Pardon me, would you kindly fill this sack with money?”
Elliott Cross responds:
Posted: March 27th, 2007 at 8:37 pm →

Boy, they sure have changed the labeling on those cans of ‘Spam’, haven’t they!

I remember the good ole’ days during college, broke, but not enough to skip a good kegger…. oh, wait…

I guess I had better reread those labels again…. missed the part about the levitra and asian teens…. was that under the ‘Fat Content’ or the ‘Made of’ portion?
Tommy Olsson responds:
Posted: March 28th, 2007 at 1:32 am →

I got some vivid images in my head from reading this. A wall. A blindfold. A firing squad.

Kudos to you and Jack for spelling “smörgåsbord” correctly!
Blair Millen responds:
Posted: March 28th, 2007 at 4:34 am →

Good afternoon Mike,

What beautiful bunch of spam.

I like your site very much.

I will recommend it to all my friends.

Thank you again.

Hee-hee!

Blair
Mike Cherim responds:
Posted: March 28th, 2007 at 9:15 am →

@ Tommy: Firing squad sounds about right.

@ Blair: LOL.
Jermayn Parker responds:
Posted: March 29th, 2007 at 5:13 am →

Out of every bad situation can come something good….

Getting spammed turned into an enjoyable 10 minutes or so
Rob Scott responds:
Posted: March 30th, 2007 at 2:22 am →

I use a pretty good plugin which removes all of these messages by checking the websites they (the spammers) link to against a list of known spammers…

The only problem is, thanks to this post, I miss those messages now! It used to please me so much to get irate about the poor grammar used by a spammer, particularly when I considered that they had used a program to send the same comment to millions of blogs all at once.

“For &%#$’s sake, if you’re going to spam, at least spend 5 minutes writing the actual pointless comment that you’re going to send off to the entire world” I used to shout. It eased the tension. Now I just get ordinary people’s comments. Which don’t have the same effect…

I’m off to turn my plugin off. Till tomorrow, when I’ll have 70,000 comments, and I’ll remember why I got it in the first place!

An interesting post.
Mike Cherim responds:
Posted: March 30th, 2007 at 12:32 pm →

I recently enabled Akismet on this blog so now I get to “see” a lot more of this sort of thing. Most is caught by Bad Behavior, but some makes it through into the Akismet page. I enabled it because I was starting to see 2-4 posts a day making it past Bad Behavior and into my regular mod queue. Now, with Akismet enabled, I see 20-30 per day. They’re not in my mod queue, but in the Akismet queue. I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not. I still have to deal with them

I have five levels of protection now: Bad Behavior, Akismet, first time posters held, all comments with any number of links held, and keyword matching. If I didn’t have this stuff, oh my, I’d have thousands if not millions of comments offer reader millions, if not billions of links.
Anthony Brewitt responds:
Posted: March 30th, 2007 at 3:13 pm →

Sucky Sucky Fifty Dollar Sir, Sorry I couldn’t resist! I must admit I really enjoyed reading these, is that so wrong? forget accessites and other showcases I think you have found a niche for a gallery!
Anthony Brewitt responds:
Posted: March 30th, 2007 at 3:22 pm →

Just thought I’d share my latest 2 with ya Mike =

Helo! What a nice site here! And here’s my:
frontier airlines flight schedule.

When he told me about the frontier airlines flight schedule I knew it was a real person.

Spam really sucks( delete it )

A bit of friendly advice so I emailed Nobby the Lubricator back and said thanks!
Mike Cherim responds:
Posted: March 30th, 2007 at 3:25 pm →

A “Spammery” perhaps?
Anthony Brewitt responds:
Posted: April 2nd, 2007 at 1:16 pm →

lol, Spammery.com is available!
Mike Cherim responds:
Posted: May 1st, 2007 at 8:21 pm →

Check out this comment I found in Akismet today:

The United States of America is a country of the western hemisphere, comprising fifty states and several territories. Forty-eight contiguous states lie in central North America between the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, bounded on land by Canada to the north and Mexico to the south; Alaska is in the northwest of the continent with Canada to its east, and Hawaii is in the mid-Pacific. The United States is a federal constitutional republic with Washington, D.C. its capital.

At over 3. 7 million square miles (over 9.6 million km²) and with more than 300 million people, the United States is the third or fourth largest country by total area and third largest by population. With a gross domestic product (GDP) of more than $13 trillion, 0 the U.S. has the largest national economy in the world. GDP per capita ranks the U.S. first among large economies.

American society is the product of large-scale immigration and is home to a complex social structure as well as a wide array of household arrangements. The U.S. is one of the world’s most ethnically and socially diverse nations.

The nation was founded by thirteen colonies declaring their independence from Great Britain on July 4, 1776. It adopted the current constitution (which has been amended several times subsequently) on September 17, 1787. The country greatly expanded in territory throughout the 19th century, acquiring further territory from the United Kingdom, as well as lands from France, Mexico, Spain, and Russia. With the collapse 7 of the Soviet Union in 1991, it became the world’s sole remaining superpower, and is a declared nuclear weapons state. The United States continues to exert dominant economic, political, cultural and military influence around the globe.

I was posted by someone with a Russian email address… and all the punctuation, commas, periods, etc, were links. I deleted it of course but I had to waste some time figuring out what the deal was.

Sorry. Comments are closed.

Beast-Blog.com My Responses to Spam — Literally

My Responses to Spam — Literally

14 Responses to: “My Responses to Spam — Literally”

Beast-Blog.com
My Responses to Spam — Literally